A common refrain is that an atheist must also be a nihilist, or believe in nothing, or otherwise reject any positive attempts at living a good life, as if all sources of meaning, purpose, and pleasure suddenly disappear if not monitored by our beloved dictator in the sky. To the contrary; once the delusions of religion are abandoned, the atheist can begin the important work of living well—without the weight of superstition and according to the healthy dictates of reason and compassion.

Exploring the secular alternatives to religion, then—a critical part of outgrowing god—will be heavily explored in this blog. We’ve already encountered one such system with Epicureanism; now, we’ll review another: Stoicism.

Let’s start with a couple of points: first, philosophy is not religion, so we don’t have to follow any philosophical system according to “orthodoxy,” nor do we have to consider the writings of any ancient philosopher to be sacrosanct and infallible. Nothing is stopping you from taking what is useful from a system of thought, discarding the rest, and moving on. You won’t be charged with heresy—and excommunicated or killed—if you’d like to identify as a Stoic but reject Epictetus’s views on God, for example. If that’s what works for you, go for it. 

Second, you probably should reject Epictetus’s views on god. The Stoics were not religious skeptics, and, for the most part, held metaphysical views that are difficult to maintain today. The good news is that their theological positions are practically irrelevant to their ethics, and it’s the latter part that we will focus on, anyway. 

With that said, let’s get started.

The Stoic Path to Tranquility

It’s often said that religion is an important—in fact, indispensable—source of comfort and consolation. Whatever its claim to truth, some people say, religion is a necessary balm for life’s toughest moments. Perhaps these people have never studied Stoicism. 

Stoicism is a powerful philosophy, but it has many popular misconceptions we’re going to try to avoid in this post. The typical critic of Stoicism, for instance, will point out something about emotional repression, but that was never the purpose of the Stoic approach to life to begin with. 

The better way to view Stoicism is as a manner of living that leads to peace of mind—or at least to a steadier emotional state of mind than is usually acheived—regardless of circumstance. Stoicism promises (a lot like Epicureanism, really) to eliminate the sources of mental agitation that are, for the most part, self-inflicted. Stoicism therefore offers the same consoling effect as religion—without the requirement that you abandon your critical faculties and grasp on reality.

Nothing, however, including our own sustained tranquility, comes for free. As Epictetus—a prominent Greek Stoic philosopher—wrote:

For it is better to die of hunger, but free from distress and fear, than to live in plenty with a troubled mind…. Make a start, then, with small things. A drop of oil is spilled, a little wine is stolen; say to yourself, “Such is the price at which equanimity is bought; such is the price that one pays for peace of mind.”¹

If peace of mind isn’t your goal—if you’d like to continue to get frustrated whenever wine is spilled—then Stoicism isn’t for you. But the price of peace of mind isn’t actually very steep—and is very much worth the cost—once you internalize a few principles. And for this, we will look to Epictetus’s handbook. 

The Handbook of Epictetus

Stoicism reaches far back into the 3rd century BCE, in ancient Greece, with Zeno of Citium, the school’s founder. Unfortunately, none of his writings survive, nor do those of his successors for the next several hundred years. The only writings we do have come from the later Roman Stoics—Seneca, Musonius Rufus, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius—albeit in incomplete form. 

For our purposes, we will focus on Epictetus, who was born a slave and, after studying under Musonius Rufus and later being emancipated, founded his own Stoic school. Epictetus is the closest we can get to actually attending an ancient Stoic classroom, and therefore represents one of our best sources to learn the subject.

Unfortunately, no direct writings of Epictetus survive; rather, we have transcriptions of his lessons from his student Arrian—himself a Greek historian, philosopher, and military commander—collected in four books of Discourses (four additional books are lost to us).

Arrian also compiled what is known as the Handbook of Epictetus, a short manual summarizing Epictetus’s ethical advice. It is through this classic summary that we will review the path to Stoic tranquility—and to the attempted mastery of our emotions. We will also review some parallel passages from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Marcus was a Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, and a student of Epictetus (through his writings only; they likely never met). Marcus’s Meditations expand on the Stoic teachings of Epictetus, and will help us see how these concepts can be put into action. 

Stoicism’s First Principle: Character Is Everything

It helps to remember that you don’t need a philosophy of life when everything is going your way, and, in any case, no one admires you for living a life devoid of all challenge and adversity. It is precisely during life’s most difficult moments that your true character reveals itself, for better or worse, and that you likewise win the approbation, or derision, of your peers. 

Stoicism prepares you for these moments—it can be thought of as doing nothing else. Do you want to be at your best when life is at its worst? Then Stoicism is the training ground.

According to Stoic doctrine, you have within you the capacity, and the virtues, to handle any negative situation thrown your way. You need only the resolve to overcome challenges—and the opportunity to do so. All of the traits you admire in others—and wish to develop in yourself—cannot be actualized in the absence of adversity: you cannot become courageous without facing fear, tough without enduring pain, or perseverant without overcoming setbacks. As Epictetus said:

With regard to everything that happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it. If you catch sight of a beautiful boy or woman, you’ll find that you have self-control to enable you to deal with that; if hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance; if vilification, you’ll find forbearance. And if you get into the habit of following this course, you won’t get swept away by your impressions.²

Stoicism, then, is less about repressing emotions, or pretending nothing bothers you, and more about transforming adversity into positive, constructive tests or games employed to develop your character. It is, after all, your character—the sum total of your thoughts, actions, and behaviors over time—that defines you. It is the only thing you have full control over. Realize this, and there is nothing you cannot endure. As Marcus said:

The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacles to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.³

Let’s now take a look at six Stoic principles designed to help you turn specific kinds of adversity into opportunities for personal growth.

1. Overcoming Fear: Separate Judgments from Impressions

Fear comes in different forms, but since we all fear different things—and some things that are feared by some are loved by others—it cannot be the thing itself that is fearful. Rather, it is our impression of the thing that distresses us. Whereas you may be terrified of public speaking, for example, someone else may love it and actively seek it out. Public speaking, then—one of the most common fears—is not an inherent evil, but rather a source of fear for those who think about it negatively. 

Our fears often come in exaggerated form. As the comedian Jerry Seinfeld said:

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Clearly, our fears are often arbitrary, exaggerated, and irrational. Simply recognizing this fact—that our fears have a primary psychological component—can help us rewire our brains to find them less frightening. This is, in fact, the basis of both cognitive behavioral therapy⁴ and exposure therapy,⁵ where we retrain our brain to think of something fearful as either neutral or positive. 

Epictetus anticipated all of this thousands of years ago: 

It isn’t the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them. Death, for instance, is nothing terrible, or else it would have seemed so to Socrates too; no, it is in the judgement that death is terrible that the terror lies.⁶

Epicurus, of the competing school of Epicureanism, came to the same conclusion. He showed that death was, in many ways, an irrational fear. But the main point that both Epictetus and Epicurus would want to convey is the malleability of the mind, and the potential to separate our impressions, often formed automatically and without much thought, from our judgments—and then to work on our judgments alone. As Marcus Aurelius said, “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.”⁷

Overcoming fear ultimately builds character, and it is your character—the Stoic will always remind you—that is your primary concern. One sure path to character development, then, is the direct confrontation of your deepest fears through the transformation of your judgments. “You have power over your mind—not outside events,” Marcus said. “Realize this, and you will find strength.” 

2. Eliminating Anxiety: Accept Your Fate

Anxiety is, at bottom, anticipated fear. It comes from either desiring a certain outcome that is not guaranteed, or seeking to avoid an outcome that may, in fact, happen. For those with anxiety disorders, this is not a pleasant condition to live with. It is also, according to Epictetus, mostly self-induced. If there is one saying that best captures the essence of Stoicism—and represents the culmination of Stoic practice—it is this:

Don’t seek that all that comes about should come about as you wish, but wish that everything that comes about should come about just as it does, and then you’ll have a calm and happy life.

This doesn’t mean you should not have preferences or goals—what Stoics refer to as “preferred indifferents”—but it does mean that you must ultimately accept any outcome that you have no direct control over.⁸ 

A quick example might be helpful. Let’s say that you’re aiming for a promotion at work; great, do what you can to get one. Strive to do your job to the utmost of your ability, but don’t become attached to whether or not your boss decides to actually promote you. Your job performance and effort are fully in your hands; your boss’s decision is not.  

The Stoic strives to be the best employee, parent, spouse, or friend that they can be, the rewards of which are intrinsic to that process and can never be obstructed, by anyone. External rewards or recognition, while nice to have, to the Stoic are completely beside the point. This imperturbable attitude, ironically, places you in a better position to gain external recognition, as you won’t come off as desperate to acquire it, and you won’t place any undue pressure on yourself that will, in the end, hinder your performance. 

As a practicing Stoic, you should focus on fulfilling whatever current role you’re performing to the best of your ability, and give no thought to either the future or to the actions and thoughts of others. As Marcus said, “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”

3. Controlling Anger: Develop Patience and Deflect Insults

Let’s be honest, the majority of our everyday problems come from the actions of others. No one ever seems to think, behave, or say the things we want them to. Their priorities conflict with ours. We are constantly annoyed, insulted, aggrieved, hurt, and obstructed by the actions of other people. But ask Epictetus who is to blame for this, and he’ll tell you, unequivocally, that it’s you. As Epictetus said:

If someone handed over your body to somebody whom you encountered, you’d be furious; but that you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so that, if he abuses you, it becomes disturbed and confused, do you feel no shame at that?⁹

Trying to get others to constantly bend to your will is exhausting, while letting go of all expectations is liberating. As Epictetus would tell you, if you delegate your mental well-being to others, you will never find peace. You are, in the end, ultimately responsible for your own mind and your own tranquility, and everyone else, for theirs. As Epictetus said:

When someone acts badly towards you, or speaks badly of you, remember that he is acting or speaking in that way because he regards that as being the proper thing for him to do. Now, it isn’t possible for him to act in accordance with what seems right to you, but only with what seems right to him. So if he judges wrongly, he is the one who suffers the harm, since he is the one who has been deceived. For if anyone should think a true composite judgement to be false, the judgement itself isn’t harmed, but the person who has been deceived. If you start out, then, from this way of thinking, you’ll be gentle with someone who abuses you, for in each case you’ll say, “That is how it seemed to him.”¹⁰

“Remember that what insults you isn’t the person who abuses you or hits you, but your judgement that such people are insulting you,” Epictetus advised. In their aggression, malevolence, or idiocy, they are harming their own character, not yours. This is only a source of harm to you if you allow it to be. As Marcus famously said:

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.¹¹

This doesn’t mean you cannot calmly and directly stick up for yourself, or engage in acts of persuasion towards others. But it does mean not allowing others to ultimately disturb your peace. The moment you display anger is the moment someone else has won control of your mind. 

This is easier said than done, of course, especially in the heat of the moment. What do you do, for example, when someone insults you, outright? Here is Epictetus:

If someone reports to you that a certain person is speaking ill of you, don’t defend yourself against what has been said, but reply instead, “Ah yes, he was plainly unaware of all my other faults, or else those wouldn’t have been the only ones that he mentioned.”¹²

Indifference and humor are the best weapons against those who wish to insult or harm you. Humor, especially, signals to them that their opinion is not important enough to you to cause you any bother in the first place. Because it isn’t. And, in any case, either their criticism is valid, in which case it’s a welcomed source of self-improvement, or they are mistaken, in which case it is they who are in error. 

4. Enduring Loss: Practice Gratitude and Savor the Present Moment

The harsh reality of human existence is perpetual change, loss, and death. It is a core Stoic precept that we don’t ever really own anything; rather, we borrow it from the universe, from which we must one day return it. “Never say about anything, ‘I’ve lost it,’” said Epictetus, “but rather, ‘I’ve given it back.’”¹³

Realizing this—that we are all living on borrowed time with borrowed assets—can help us build gratitude for the limited moments we have with loved ones. Memento mori—remembering that you will die—is thus a core Stoic motto, not to keep you in a persistent state of depression, but to remind you to live for the moment. “You could leave life right now,” Marcus wrote. “Let that determine what you do and say and think.”¹⁴

It can also help you deal with inevitable loss. As Epictetus said:

With regard to everything that is a source of delight to you, or is useful to you, or of which you are fond, remember to keep telling yourself what kind of thing it is, starting with the most insignificant. If you’re fond of a jug, say, “This is a jug that I’m fond of,” and then, if it gets broken, you won’t be upset. If you kiss your child or your wife, say to yourself that it is a human being that you’re kissing; and then, if one of them should die, you won’t be upset.¹⁵

Now, I must admit, this last part makes Stoicism seem rather cold and unrealistic. But the underlying message—even if relying on shock value—is instructive. We are all destined to die, so denying this fact is entirely unhelpful. While you will inevitably be stricken with grief when your spouse or child dies, you must remind yourself that this was part of the deal—the limited amount of time you had with them is what made the time special in the first place. If you realize this before the inevitable happens, you’ll start making more out of your relationships each day. 

Marcus wasn’t any less blunt about it when we wrote, “As you kiss your son good night, says Epictetus, whisper to yourself, ‘He may be dead in the morning.’”¹⁶ Again, while this may be a bit too morbid for you, it may also positively impact the way you feel about and treat your children on a day-to-day basis.  

5. Eradicating Envy: Play Your Part in Life with Determination

For the Stoic, everything comes with a price, and this is why you must be careful what you wish for. Longing for fame, for example, places your mental well-being in the care and opinion of others. As Epictetus said:

Everyone is subject to anyone who has power over what he wants or doesn’t want, as one who is in a position to confer it or take it away. If anyone wants to be free, then, let him neither want anything nor seek to avoid anything that is under the control of others; or else he is bound to be a slave.¹⁷

Power, money, and fame come with this steep price, as they are all, in large part, dependent on the will of others. If this is what you’re after, then by all means pursue it, but at least be cognizant of the costs. And realize that certain things are simply not worth the price of admission. As Epictetus said:

You haven’t been invited to somebody’s dinner party? Of course not, because you haven’t paid the host the price at which he sells the dinner; he sells it for praise, he sells it for attention. Very well, then, pay him the price for which it is sold, if it is in your interest. But if you want to make no payment and still receive the goods, you’re greedy and foolish. Do you have nothing, then, in place of the dinner? Why, of course you have: you haven’t been obliged to praise a man whom you didn’t want to praise, you didn’t have to suffer the insolence of the people at the door.¹⁸

You have no need to be envious of those who have more than you, for they may very well have paid a steeper price than their possessions and positions are worth. They may be unhappy, lonely, depressed, anxious, and corrupt, despite their riches. Would you really trade your character and tranquility for this? 

Maybe you would, but perhaps it’s simply not in the cards for you to achieve these finer things. In that case, it may be helpful to view your life as would an actor in a play, in which case happiness is found in playing your part—whatever that part is—with the utmost integrity. As Epictetus said:

Remember that you’re an actor in a play, which will be as the author chooses, short if he wants it to be short, and long if he wants it to be long. If he wants you to play the part of a beggar, act even that part with all your skill; and likewise if you’re playing a cripple, an official, or a private citizen. For that is your business, to act the role that is assigned to you as well as you can; but it is another’s part to select that role.¹⁹

At the root of envy—and the desire for fame—is the overvaluation of the opinions of others. “It never ceases to amaze me,” Marcus wrote, “we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”²⁰ The day we stop living for others, and instead for ourselves, is the day we can begin to replace envy with true contentment and joy. 

6. Letting Go of Your Ego: Practice Stoicism with Humility

“Never call yourself a philosopher,”²¹ said Epictetus, for the sole point of Stoic practice is the development of character; therefore, showing off your newfound philosophical attitude for praise is exactly the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing. 

“Remember how Socrates so completely renounced all outward show,” Epictetus reminds us, “that when people came to him and asked to be introduced to philosophers, he would take them along and introduce them, so readily did he submit to being overlooked.”²² Epictetus would likewise tell you that you can’t use Stoicism to overcome the need for admiration by seeking admiration through your practice of Stoicism. 

In a similar manner, you should take no pride in the theoretical understanding of important moral precepts without being able to implement them. Epictetus talks about how we like to discuss the principles of good behavior to such an extent that we forget to actually be good people. “And so it comes about,” said Epictetus, “that we lie, while having at hand all the arguments that show why we oughtn’t to lie.”²³ Marcus expressed the same point: “Stop talking about what the good man is like, and just be one.”²⁴

The ultimate Stoic aim, then, is not the learned interpretation or recitation of Stoic texts, but rather the practical implementation of core Stoic principles. As Epictetus said:

But if what I value is the mere act of interpretation, what else have I achieved than to have become a literary scholar instead of a philosopher? The only difference is that I’m interpreting Chrysippus rather than Homer. So when someone says to me, “Read me some Chrysippus,” I blush rather than feeling any pride, when I’m unable to show that my actions match up to his words and are consistent with them.²⁵

By all means, read and study the classic Stoic texts. But at the end of the day, all the theoretical knowledge in the world will mean nothing if you continue to live with self-inflicted mental agitation and distress. “Lay down from this moment,” Epictetus said, “a certain character and pattern of behaviour for yourself, which you are to preserve both when you’re alone and when you’re with others.”²⁶ But don’t broadcast it for all to see.

Stoicism as a Secular Alternative to Religion

I’ve always been drawn to Stoicism for a couple of reasons. First, as we’ve said, a philosophy of life is not necessary when things are going well, so what we really need out of a practical philosophy is preparation for handling adversity. In this regard, Stoicism is simply unmatched. 

Second, notice that the practice of Stoicism—besides being fundamentally tolerant of others, along with other pro-social aspects—is theologically neutral. Whether gods exist or not—and whatever blessings or curses they throw at you or not—the fact remains that your character is all you have full control over. Therefore, if you insist on being religious—though I really wish you wouldn’t—you can still fully practice the philosophy without missing a beat. It may even temper the more dogmatic aspects of your religion, and get you to focus more on your own character at the expense of all your proselytizing and judging of others. It was Jesus, after all, who said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matt. 7:3).

A final note is that Stoicism does not demand perfection. While you may never achieve the status of the ideal sage, like Socrates, you will nevertheless find room for much moral improvement in the attempt. As Epictetus said, “And even if you’re not yet a Socrates, you ought to live like someone who does in fact wish to be a Socrates.”²⁷ 

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Now that we’ve seen that religion is not required to live a good life, we can resume with our review of ancient atheism. Specifically, we’ll turn to the very first critiques of a new religion that would come to change the course of Western history: Christianity.  

Notes

1. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, translated by Robin Hard, with an introduction and notes by Christopher Gill (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2014), 437.
2. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 437.
3. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations: A New Translation, trans. Gregory Hays (New York: Modern Library, 2002), 60.
4. Donald J. Robertson, “Stoic Philosophy as a Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy,” Stoicism — Philosophy as a Way of Life (Medium, September 16, 2019), https://medium.com/stoicism-philosophy-as-a-way-of-life/stoic-philosophy-as-a-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-597fbeba786a.
5. American Psychological Association, “Exposure Therapy: What It Is” (APA Clinical Practice Guideline for PTSD — Patients and Families), APA.org, accessed February 23, 2026, https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/exposure-therapy.
6. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 435.
7. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 110.
8. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 436.
9. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 443.
10. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 450.
11. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 17.
12. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 447.
13. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 437.
14. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 19.
15. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 434.
16. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 156.
17. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 438.
18. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 442.
19. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 439.
20. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 162.
21. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 451.
22. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 452.
23. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 455.
24. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 136.
25. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 453.
26. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 446.
27. Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, 455.

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